This past week I had the pleasure of driving this awesome 2017 FORD Fusion Hybrid (Thank you LaKara!) - NO! This isn't a car review .. but it kind of is lol pllleeeease bear with me. or is it bare with me? whatever, listen , Im driving this car and just thinking of how Blessed i am because this wonderful woman LaKara
.... so LaKara is friends with me on social media and through our connection she ensures that when I'm home, i have something to drive around in! the car i used to have is looooong gone and week long rentals are NOT in the budget , so yea, see why I'm so thankful? ....
anyway, Im driving and thinking of how blessed I am because without this car i didn't know how i was going to get around. which also made me start comparing myself to some of my peers. not the ones that are faking it til they make it (no shade), but the ones that actually have MADE IT! (in my opinion, ya know.) As a freelance teacher, day to day checks aren't promised. so the goal is to get big checks often so rent is P A I D (hello somebody!)
So Im beating myself up mentally, "Racheal you should be here and here in life, and have this and this, (steering wheel pulls) you're this age so these boxes should have been checked! (steering wheel pulls) Its a shame that __ amount of money isn't in your savings in case of a rainy day .. and now Im looking down trying to figure out why tf this steering wheels keeps pulling and I'm getting more frustrated!!! but then i realize, every time i was drifting off into the next lane, the car was reminding me to stay focused on the road (it literally told me on the display to keep both hands on the wheel-lol), but more importantly, it was reminding me to stay focused on remaining ONLY in MY lane.
Im not gonna lie, i shed a little tear because i clearly was in need of that lesson. Im a firm believer that God speaks to us in many languages. Sometimes even car language lol. Ive been advised by many people on how i should present myself and what partnerships i should chase after but none of it ever felt right for me. (key word: FOR ME) So i just remained Racheal. Not realizing i was actually doing one of the hardest things in life + setting myself up for success evvvverytime i said, "No, i cant do that."
Who knows (or even cares) where'd I'd be if i succumbed to the pressure of being anything other than myself ya know. Im just thankful for growth and revelation, and the ability to hear my 'car' talking to me.
*adds doing a commercial + getting a 2017 Ford Fusion Hybrid to prayer list*